A Blog by Niko Lee Mackey

Niko Lee Mackey is Agent 008adass

¡Feliz Dia de los Muertos!

Today is Dia de los Muertos, one of the greatest holidays in existence, and, apparently, a day of great kindness.

I was at work, shelving some Non-Fiction books when I came across a little gift. I was happy to say the [very] least; honestly, I feel blessed. In transparent green gift wrap was a skull, properly painted to a Day of the Dead motif: flowers, hearts, and frills, all in vibrant colors. Attached by silver ribbon (curled of course!) was a red index-sized card. Amongst other things, it says “Today the Universe picks YOU to receive this gift.” I was instantly in love with it.

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Thoughts On: Becoming a Spy

I want to work for the CIA; I want to be a spy: Agent 008adass.

I can have a pet bald eagle named Washington, or more likely Eisenhower, and train him in the sacred art of falconry so that he may aid me in aerial reconnaissance; I can carry a Colt .45 revolver and mysteriously never run out of ammunition; I can scratch my balls, or have that done by one of the many female fetales that I am undoubtedly destined to “acquaint myself with.”

It’s a plan. God bless America, the land of my unhindered imagination.

Meatless Fridays and the Relativity of Truth

Having come from Portugal, my mother’s family is Catholic. My mother claims to be Catholic, but she never goes to church, and neither does she make a decent effort to avoid eating meat on Fridays. Not wanting my mother to burn in Hell for all eternity, I took it upon myself to avoid eating meat on Fridays, although I must admit I’m not consistent.

I was raised Catholic, but took up Deism (look it up), and thus I obviously don’t share my family’s Christian beliefs. You might be thinking, “Wait a minute . . . Why would you be concerned about the fate of your mother’s soul if your beliefs don’t justify your fears?”

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Random Wisdom # 2

When life gives you lemons, say, “Thank you”; show some appreciation.

“He’s a good squeeze.” | Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Random Wisdom # 1

If it walks like a duck and it talks like it duck, it might be a duck. It could also be a mallard. When in doubt, consult an ornithologist, preferably one specializing in waterfowl if possible.

A Mallard Duck | Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Implications of Finding Amelia Earhart

Tampa, Florida’s Bay News 9 is playing in the background as I tidy up the library in anticipation of the eager morning patrons. This is when I heard the dreadful announcement:

A $2.2 million expedition is hoping to finally solve one of America’s most enduring mysteries: What exactly happened to famed aviator Amelia Earhart when she went missing over the South Pacific 75 years ago?” (Garcia)1

Why?” I said out loud. I felt embarrassed, not so much by the sheer quantity of funds involved, but by the audacity of the researchers willing to embark on such an expedition.

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